Hannah: 0:10

Welcome to another bonus episode of Wicked Wanderings. We're so grateful to have you as a paid subscriber. Your support means the world to us. Now, without further ado, let's dive right into today's exclusive content Enjoy. Hey Wanderers, thank you for joining us for our bonus episode. Courtney, thank you for co-hosting with me today. Thank you for having me. So thank you for giving us your cash. We really appreciate it. So hope you enjoy this bonus episode where we talk about shit.

Courtney: 0:55

Nice. So I was perusing the Reddits and I found an interesting Am I the Asshole? From two hours ago. So I feel like we have like the VIP status. I will say I have not read it. It is lengthy.

Hannah: 1:09

Get it, read it.

Courtney: 1:11

Read it on Reddit. Good one, it seems promising, so let's hope it's not a flop. Okay, so we've been together just over 13 months Me, female 27, planning on moving in together in about four months when his Mail 29, leases up. We have been to loads of events together weddings, engagement parties, birthdays, even his grandparent's wedding anniversary party. We were due to attend his friend's wedding in a neighboring country when, a few weeks before, he told me he didn't want me to go. It was just as I was booking my flights. I asked why, and he said I would be bored. I know his friend group well, so it's not like I wouldn't know anyone. Anyway, despite many heated discussions, he was adamant. This left a bad taste in my mouth and I felt something was off.

Courtney: 1:52

So seven of my friends seems excessive and I decided to go for a break at the beach while he was gone and extended it to a full week. My friend Jem's parents had a house at the beach less than two hours drive away and the weather was supposed to be good, so we were very excited. We were leaving on Wednesday and due back the following Wednesday morning early and going straight into work. I didn't even bother telling my boyfriend Honestly, it felt like he didn't care and I was on the brink of breaking up with him but decided to enjoy the beach week first. Okay, not fair. Seems like this is where it's going to take a turn. I get a call from Anna, female 26,. Out of the blue, anna was the girlfriend of my boyfriend's best friend, sam 29. This is going to get complicated. We had been due to travel with them. She overheard Luke talking to Sam. Luke is her boyfriend.

Hannah: 2:35

Okay.

Courtney: 2:36

Sam was asking if he really wasn't going to bring me to this wedding. Luke said yes because his ex, lucy late 20s I think had finally RSVP'd that she was going and had really delayed. Uh what, I'm sensing something bad. She texted Luke, the ex, and told him she couldn't wait to see him again and had a surprise for him. They had broken up three years ago and she lived abroad and they kept in touch as little a little. As far as I know, luke was convinced the surprise was sex, as this has been some kind of running joke with them when they dated.

Hannah: 3:05

Wait. So, like Bates, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but he's been talking to his ex while he's been dating this other girl.

Courtney: 3:11

Yeah, and he seems to think that it's sex is the surprise, right? What? Anyway, he didn't want me there messing up his chance of having sex with Lucy. He said it was a once-off, but he had to do it. Well, that was enough for me.

Hannah: 3:23

Okay, don't blame your sister.

Courtney: 3:25

I knew I would be dumping him, but didn't want a week of him texting and harassing me to forgive him while I was at the beach, so I held off until we got back on the tuesday luke texted and said he was sleeping over at my, at mine, until thursday as he would be leaving early friday morning and would be gone until sunday. He didn't ask, he just told me. I replied that he couldn't as I was leaving very early on Wednesday morning for a week's vacation and would see him next week. Told him not to worry about keeping in touch because I was planning to be phone free on my vacation as much as possible. He asked why hadn't I told him I was going on vacation and I just said I thought I already had. I mean, to be fair, I'll pause. Like she's kind of wrong in this too. Like yeah, he did something bad, but like you're also not communicating like an adult.

Hannah: 4:03

Oh yes yes, yes.

Courtney: 4:04

He wanted to know who I was going with and had a hundred other questions Valid. I told him we would talk when I got back that I was busy packing and to enjoy the wedding and I hoped it was full of surprises for him. He didn't reply. We had a fantastic vacation, her and her girlfriends. The rain held off and we stayed on the beach all day and hit nightclubs and local bars and restaurants at night.

Courtney: 4:25

I didn't post on social media but was certainly tagged in a lot of pictures. He texted me a few times Thursday and Friday, but just general flight leaving now and I got here, okay, kind of stuff. But on Saturday, the day of the wedding, he really texted and called a lot. The texts were all how he missed me and made a mistake not bringing me, I didn't reply and didn't answer any of the calls. Not bringing me I didn't reply and didn't answer any of the calls. Same thing on Sunday. Then he got home on Sunday night and wanted to join us at the beach. I told him no, he would just be bored Full circle. So Sunday night Anna rang me and couldn't stop laughing. His ex Lucy turned up to the restaurant Friday to the group dinner and her surprise was that she was seven months.

Hannah: 5:19

Oh God, oh.

Courtney: 5:19

God. I told him I knew why he didn't bring me and that his surprise wasn't sex but a pregnant ex and her husband. So I told him it was over. He planned to cheat, even if he didn't get the chance to. I was laughing at how Lucy pranked him but honestly I was still hurting on the inside. He tried to get me to change my mind because he hadn't actually cheated, but I wouldn't. Am I the asshole for dumping him even though he didn't actually cheat?

Hannah: 5:46

I mean, she was still planning on breaking up with him before all that it sounds like a really immature relationship.

Courtney: 5:49

Yeah, yeah, I see a lot of like. To me, the plan to cheat is enough, I guess.

Hannah: 5:55

Um, but also they're both very childish, but he was open about the cheating, the lack of cheating, the lack of cheating. Right, but like that's how I understood it, yeah, I mean, it seems like he was open once he got caught, though yeah, so I think you both are just the asshole you guys both might be the asshole Like you need to move on and find people that are more mature yeah, or you need to mature yourself or both.

Courtney: 6:23

Go out, find yourselves, yeah. Find somebody who works for you. Don't sell off people who cheat. Yeah, that's what I'm going to leave that one on, yeah.

Hannah: 6:29

I think yeah.

Courtney: 6:38

I agree with you on all that front. Oh what? Do you find another one? Yeah, I mean, go for it, why not? Am I the asshole for exposing my friend's body count to her boyfriend? My female 21 friend, female 21 so they're both females, you have body count by 21 has been dating her boyfriend, male 21, for two years. Last night we were all at a party along with my boyfriend, male 22, who was not involved in this conversation. We were talking about virginity and sex when my friend thought it'd be funny to share that I lost my virginity at 14. Oh god, I don't really want people. I'm not close with knowing that fact, but I wasn't upset with her for saying it. I was, however, very upset with her boyfriend's reaction. He was really shocked and said he didn't know I'm like that. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I said I'm really not. I just fell in love very young. He said my body count must be wicked by now.

Hannah: 7:23

Wow, I told him that it was none of his business, right, it's none of his business.

Courtney: 7:28

Wow, and that he was being rude. Yeah, definitely he's rude. My friend started giggling and told me to calm down, he's just joking. He then started guessing what it was and I just stayed quiet. He went wow, must be real bad then. What a dick, right? My friend, who does know my body count, said well, she did lose it at 14, so that might not be my friend anymore. I felt bullied and I was pissed off. My response was well, I lost it at 14. You lost it a year later. Bullied and I was pissed off. My response was well, I lost it at 14. You lost it a year later. I fucked three guys, all of which I've dated. You fucked 30 guys, most of which you barely knew. So how the fuck are you?

Hannah: 8:02

slut shaming me right now, oh snap.

Courtney: 8:04

A fight between my friend and her boyfriend immediately ensued.

Hannah: 8:07

That was in quotes.

Courtney: 8:08

It was it really was. He accused her of lying, she accused me of lying. I told him to ask anyone and left to go find my boyfriend. They left the party immediately after the next day. My friend quote unquote sent me a very long essay about how I betrayed her trust, how she would never expose me like that and how I'm a terrible person for ruining her relationship Womp womp, I know my reaction wasn't good, but I feel like it might have been justified.

Courtney: 8:37

I don't stand up for myself a whole lot and I don't know if I went too far. I go in between being upset about— it's not literature, but I think they mean upset with how she treated me and wanting to block her and being embarrassed of how bad of a friend I was and wanting to apologize. Am I the asshole?

Hannah: 8:50

Wow, I'm going to say no on this. So just because you lost your virginity at such a young age does not mean you're having sex with every guy that comes your way.

Courtney: 8:59

it's also really none of any. I'm like I almost kind of part of me wanting to be like maybe you're both a little bit of the asshole, because to me, like one body count really shouldn't matter. Two, it's really not something that anybody else should discuss about you, except maybe yourself, like as an adult. I don't think anybody really asks people like what's your body?

Hannah: 9:17

count. Yeah, when you get in a relationship like you might ask about, what are your previous relationships like right?

Courtney: 9:23

right how many?

Hannah: 9:23

people have you fucked right, it's such a like immature thing that people ask I feel like it is, and I I'm going back to like she was young, but she may have been more mature. She could have just fallen in love early and, honestly, if it was a man, people probably wouldn't have given a flying fuck. Well, also.

Courtney: 9:44

I mean, she could have been forced right.

Hannah: 9:48

She was 14. We don't know Exactly, you don't know.

Courtney: 9:51

How awful would you feel if you were like, wow, what a slut. And then she was forced.

Hannah: 9:54

Right, you can't judge and I just, I don't know, no, I don't. I don't think she's the bad person in this scenario and I think if you had a true friend, I can't see you doing that to me. Okay, drinks could be involved, weed, whatever. I can't see you being like, yeah, I don't know, fuck this maybe. Like no, I can't see you doing that. No, but I, I will be honest, we can cut this part out, but I know that rob had a list when we first got together and that did bother me you mean like hoarding a list a what?

Courtney: 10:27

like hoarding a list like?

Hannah: 10:29

like it was like written out on board yeah, yeah, yeah, that would bother me too. Yeah, you need a list.

Courtney: 10:32

Yeah, keep that shit up here, like right I wasn't like mad that he had that it yeah.

Hannah: 10:35

You don't need a list. Yeah, Keep that shit up here, Right? I wasn't like mad that he had them, it was the fact that he had a list. Yeah, because it makes you wonder, like why are you keeping? Them Right, like that bothered me, but not necessarily like. I'm glad you understand what I'm trying to say yeah.

Courtney: 10:52

I think you need to pick the next. Am I the asshole? Because I'm clearly not the great ones.

Hannah: 10:56

No, you are. Oh my God. My husband went on a last date with his ex a week before we got married to make sure.

Courtney: 11:04

No no.

Hannah: 11:06

Automatically not the asshole. His ex was always quote the one who got away, quote Nope, according to everyone around him. I already don't like this guy, nope. I don't like this guy. He ended things because he didn't see a future with her, but everyone around him was shocked because she's so good and beautiful. Dear God, this poor woman.

Courtney: 11:26

Fuck this shit, this poor woman.

Hannah: 11:29

Then we met and I soon understood that everyone from his side preferred her. I even heard some call me the Camilla, although I am neither much older nor less attractive In my opinion. I love how I look, even if I don't tick all the beauty boxes like tall, blonde, blue eyes, etc. Like his ex Ew God.

Courtney: 11:49

I don't like that.

Hannah: 11:49

There's a standard in her mind. Poor girl, he never given me any God.

Courtney: 11:53

English is so bad, I'm sorry, it's not me speaking.

Hannah: 11:56

He never given me any reason to doubt him. However, he gave me the impression that he knew exactly what he wanted, was secure enough in his heart that he told me he loved me a few months into our relationship, and I never felt like he was lying to me or that I wasn't enough. He's fully aware of what people think about him leaving his ex, and he gave the impression that he thought they were silly and childish. He told his mom that I am who he chosen. God, the English is so bad. I'm so sorry. And if she wanted a part of it, she needed to clean up her act.

Hannah: 12:23

We got married three years ago and only now I found out that he went on a date with his ex a few days before our wedding. He wanted to know for sure that she wasn't, like everyone around him, though, the one who got away. He wanted to make a hundred percent sure. His mom told me gleefully when she visited our new baby oh, my God, there's a baby involved. I hate this guy's mom, and she looked at my daughter and said she wondered what would happen if he changed his mind at that date and she was visited their baby now. What the fuck? I don't like this lady, my husband and the one who got away with a sigh, but gleefully oh my God, the English is so bad. I am so sorry. You know what I mean.

Hannah: 12:58

I haven't spoken to him for a week and I hate silent treatment, but I just can't talk to him. It isn't something I am doing to punish him or manipulate him or get the upper hand and control him. I just can't look at him or talk to him. Am I the asshole for the silent treatment? No, edit, he was there when it happened. He told his mom to shut up. Then he admitted. He went on the date and admitted. The reason his mom told me was the truth. Still, not the asshole. There's a lot of assholes in that story, though. I just feel bad for this girl that probably has no self-esteem whatsoever. Right, I don't even know what to say. I don't see either.

Courtney: 13:31

That was bad. Yeah, you know why the asshole thing doesn't work for us.

Hannah: 13:35

Thanks for listening today. Wicked Wanderings is hosted by me, hannah, and it's produced by Rob Fitzpatrick, music by Sasha N. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to leave a rating and review, and be sure to follow on all socials. You can find the links down in the show notes. If you're looking for some really cozy t-shirts or hoodies, head over to the merch store. Thank you for being a part of the Wicked Wanderings community. We appreciate every one of you.